After putting together my running goals for 2016, I took a few minutes to think about how to achieve them, and more than a few minutes about what will hold me back from getting there.
It doesn't take a whole lot of work to come up with a wish-list. And, as the saying and memes go, a goal without a plan is just a wish. Sure, there's plenty of things I WANT to achieve this year. Lose x amount of weight, cut x minutes off per mile at each distance, cultivate a thriving blog . . . all worthy ambitions and not impossible to achieve. But no one's getting anywhere just sitting around wanting things to change.
The first step to getting where I want to be is to just stop fucking around. This looks like eliminating useless snacking and sugar-indulging and too-much-beer-enjoying. The past few months I've cut myself a ton of slack and have essentially stopped tracking what I've been putting in my body. I was in my best racing shape when I was more diligently, but not obsessively, counting calories and making sure I put high octane into my fuel tank. So, in the spirit of new beginnings, I am going to work very hard to snack on healthier options, to opt out of snacking mindlessly and freely after the kids go to bed, and to enjoy adult beverages responsibly two nights per week. I'm not planning on being perfect, but I do plan on dialing my efforts up a few notches.
Secondly, I need to be fair but firm with myself and my expectations. I know in the deepest parts of my heart that I am nowhere near my best running shape. Which means track intervals and long run paces aren't going to be as fast as I would like. That doesn't mean I can't be proud of where I am without working to get somewhere else. I can be happy with my current level of fitness while wanting more at the same time. And not beat myself up for not being where I want to be, yet.
Third, and this is always easier said than done, is to just do it. Damn, that is such a boring old cliche but isn't it just the truth? I mean, if I want this blog to be a living space, then sit down and write. If I want to get faster and fitter, make the commitment and get my ass to the track. No complaining, no second-guessing; just write, run, hit the publish and the lap buttons. Go.
Ah, so there are the bullet points for how to get from Point A to Point B, but what about the inevitable stumbling blocks? I've thought a bit about what's really holding me back. And that's the real scary shit.
The big ones, and here's the truth, are fear and envy. Putting myself out there, risking failure and looking foolish . . . those have always been some of my biggest fears. Typical first-born, Type-A personality, I expect to just do it well the first time. I'm hoping that by getting this out of my head and into the ether I can work a little smarter on sticking out the work. Being vulnerable but unafraid. And that leads right into envy, which makes my cheeks burn with embarrassment and anger. I have this need to compare myself with others, especially others who, at different times, I was running with as an equal . . . and, honestly, am not now. Just this morning, after my own short run, I was feeling happy and confident that this piriformis injury was maybe getting better. Then I saw another few runners' paces and distances on social media and immediately my happy little run turned sour. How awful to do that to myself, right? This is the biggest thing holding me back; not necessarily from running faster, but from being the best runner I can be for myself.
So. There it is. A skeleton of a plan to get through 2016, and come out in December better than I am here in January. I'm ready.
Now let's keep the injuries at bay, huh? Sheesh.
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